Personal systems take time

Ever look up a recipe and find a short novel before the recipe itself?

Or maybe you received an email from someone, and after three paragraphs, you still don’t know what they want.

Maybe it’s a report or memo that buries the top line info in fluff and filler.

One of the best ways to get a response, earn respect, and win is by getting to the point.

It doesn’t mean being cold – you’re still a human communicating with another human, so respect is a must. It means being concise and clear.

Say what you mean and say it early.

The great Stoic philosopher, Marcus Aurelius, said that. And I forget it all the time.

Like when my partner loads the dishwasher in a way that makes my eye twitch. After all, I’ve spent almost a decade figuring out the most optimized way to load the dishwasher, and they’re throwing dishes in there like it’s a trash bin.

This is how I’m wired – and I know it’s not always easy to be around. But I value order and systems. I like things done with care, done efficiently, and done right. And I hold myself to that standard.

A problem arises, though, when I hold others to this high standard. I expect people to think the same way, act the same way, and have the same general mindset. And, surprise, that leads to way more frustration than contentment.

When I get too rigid about how others should operate, I’ve noticed that resentment begins to creep in. I start to feel frustrated and silently hold people to expectations they never agreed to. I get annoyed when they don’t approach things the way I would.

That’s not leadership. That’s immaturity. And it’s something I wanted to share that I’m working on in case anyone else relates to this dynamic.

The Stoics got it right – focus only on what you can control – even if that’s easier said than done.

Not everyone should be a manager. More people need to say that out loud.

We think moving up means moving into management. Organizational leaders assume the only way to promote someone is to give them people to manage. Early career professionals assume it is the only path to advancement and higher pay.

One of the worst, most draining mistakes you can make is stepping into management when you are meant to be a strong individual contributor.

Management means putting down your craft to lead people and develop the next generation. Being an individual contributor means building deep expertise. Both paths are valuable. Both are needed. You have to know which one fits you.

Management brings its own stress: hard decisions, hard conversations, and responsibilities you can’t just check off. But the reward of helping others grow is real.

Some people thrive as specialized individual contributors. They become highly valued and well paid, without managing a team.

Success comes in many forms. Pick the one that fits you.

I was listening to an interview with Sam Altman, CEO of OpenAI, who recently said that in the age of AI, we’ll start valuing different types of people – not just those with the right answers, but those who know how to ask the right questions.

That’s always been true in leadership. The best operators, managers, and strategic thinkers don’t start with great strategic plans. They start by asking good, important questions.

What are we trying to solve here?
What would make this simpler, faster, more scalable, or more valuable?
What does success here look like?
If this fails, why will that have happened?

Like Altman, I am a techno-optimist. While the development side of AI is still very closed off and expensive, access to the fruits of that development – the knowledge – is super affordable and accessible.

The people who can ask the right questions – whether to their AI or to their teammates – are those who I believe will truly excel in the coming decades.

Bonus: Some good questions that managers should ask themselves every week.

Today’s post is simple – please help the victims and communities affected by the devastating flooding in Texas over the Fourth of July weekend. As of this post, the death toll is now over 80 people, and 10 young campers remain missing.

You can donate here.

Every dollar helps.

I remember in college when I was a state officer for DECA. We had to generate a fifth-of-the-month report (FOMR) for our coach outlining the projects, wins, and challenges we worked through that month.

I hated them.

Then I got into the professional world and had to do more reports – some internal, some client-facing.

I still hated them.

I get it – writing a report is a big lift. Whether it’s weekly, monthly, or quarterly, they not only can take a lot of time to complete but there is always the fear of leaving something out or getting called out for something you include.

Despite their reputation, I am a big believer in weekly reports. They can be a powerful thing if done well. But most of the time they’re not. They become a formality or a Friday afternoon chore. A waste of time. The problem? No one ever explains why they’re important, or what a good one looks like. They should be seen as an opportunity to tell the story of the week.

Here’s how I approach weekly reports as a manager:

• They’re not a task list. They should tell the story of the week: progress, wins, challenges, and lessons learned. If it was a great week, the report should clearly communicate why. If it was a bad week… same thing.
• Provide a guide: If you want to avoid reports being phoned in, set clear expectations for what reports should communicate. I literally created a “good report / bad report” side-by-side comparison for my team when I noticed a pattern of unhelpful reports, and it worked.
• Good reports create better one-on-ones. The weekly report should be your pre-read for check-ins. That way, they can focus on coaching, providing context, working through challenges, and professional development – not just a project status that can be communicated another way.

When done correctly, weekly reports help leaders stay connected to what’s really happening on the team and help employees feel seen, supported, and celebrated.

Oh, by the way, managers: make sure you actually read them 😉